The Spare Wheel

spare thoughts

i know i already posted on my main blog today about feeling blah and such, but i don't quite feel finished. so, the "edgier" or at least riskier thoughts will end up here.

most of what i have to type is likely pointless. a fruitless effort that i feel drawn to and must carry out.

things are great, but they also suck. i'm on the verge of connecting up with a community for the first time in a long time, but i'm also feeling mighty lonely. i know (for a switch) where i belong for the moment, but i have no idea what i'm doing here. i have great hopes for future friendships, but have a frustrating track record in previous and current ones. i long to find someone. the one. but how does that happen?

i could rant about a guy or two. or pine. i could attempt to re-think and revamp my seemingly "old-fashioned" ideals... which i believe are particularly God-honouring, so THAT isn't going to happen. i could vent about other people and how things don't seem fair. but guess what? i won't.

what i will do is this: i will trust God. i will aim to please Him. i will die to self. every day. i will wait. (i hate to wait) i will wait. i will pray. i will work. i will work hard. i will make promises that i will keep. i will say things that i mean. i will come out of myself, even when it is hard. i will remember i'm not the only lonely person. i will remember that appearances are never the whole story. i will make my relationship with Christ a #1 priority. i will remember that relationship defines all others. i will not settle for less. i will not live for excess. i will dream big, pray more, and believe that anything can happen with God.

is that a good start?

posted by olivepeople @ 1:41 PM