tick tick tick
i feel as though my pining has been a total waste of time. and yet i keep up with it anyway. kind of silly, really.it hit me tonight that i put a lot of time into pining after others when i don't honestly know whether there is any point. i apparently have a severe case of insecurity. why do i get so hung up on guys that i don't really even know? because i get stuck in the angst of it all: why don't i ever get to know them? why don't they have any interest in me? what's wrong with me? a series of ridiculous questions that make me feel horrible about myself.
tonight, the thing that makes me feel horrible is that i always seem to get stuck on guys that send me spiraling into these kinds of questions and self-confidence issues. why do i do that?! it's not that there is anything inherently wrong with these guys, necessarily, but that i just don't seem to do so well at letting go of the crazy ideas that i get into my head about some of them. then again, is it really so crazy that some guy might actually like me some day? some guy that i could honestly like back? maybe not... so... crazy... but still seemingly far off...
and i can't believe i just posted this on the internet.
posted by olivepeople @ 9:09 PM
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